we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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