my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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