My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
