Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
