At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can't put those talents on a resume
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
