dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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