Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
