I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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