I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
