epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
