Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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