DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
