He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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