Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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