You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
love makes seman taste better
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
