So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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