I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
