I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
