Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
