his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
