Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
