o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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