I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize