Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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