just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
