Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
