I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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