Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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