It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
