She is in my trunk
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
