He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize