Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize