When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
