I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
