Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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