Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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