You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
