My hand turned me down
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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