I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
