I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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