hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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