i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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