Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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