Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
