1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
