I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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