their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
