remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
