i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
