DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
