And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
