i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
