I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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