We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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