shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
