if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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