I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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