I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
