I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
