i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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