She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
