i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
