"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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