I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i now understand why vodka
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize