Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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