he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
3pm strippers are depressing
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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