Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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