Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
