I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
