My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
