Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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