How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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